Adam Jowett shares five psychology-based strategies to manage holiday stress.
Holidays promise rest and relaxation, while having something to look forward to has proven benefits for our mental health. But when the time finally arrives, many of us feel anxious, overwhelmed, or even disappointed.
According to Dr. Adam Jowett, Director of Psychology at The University of Law, there are a whole host of stressors associated with jetting off on holiday.
Adam says: “The stress of travel amplifies interpersonal conflict. When everyone’s a bit tired, stressed or hot, tempers flare more easily. Add to that a mismatch in holiday styles with people wanting to do different things and conflict is almost inevitable.
“Many of us find the travel process nerve-wracking. We mentally rehearse worst-case scenarios (what has been dubbed “tragedy dress rehearsals”). Our mind starts to consider the what-ifs: What if we miss the flight? What if the luggage gets lost? What if there’s a medical emergency?
What's more, travel disrupts our routines and pulls us out of our comfort zones, which the brain often interprets as a threat. This activates our fight-or-flight response, physiological changes driven by cortisol and adrenaline, preparing us for danger even when the “danger” is a last-minute dash to the gate.”
According to Adam, being forced to relinquish control and be at the mercy of airline schedules and unpredictable environments can also prove stressful. For neurodivergent travellers, such as those with autism or ADHD, these disruptions to routine, unpredictability, and sensory overload can be particularly distressing.
In addition to general travel anxiety, some individuals experience specific forms of anxiety. Aviophobia, or fear of flying, is one of the most common travel-related phobias. Even without a diagnosable phobia, many of us feel anxious in the air. Statistically, air travel is one of the safest modes of transportation, but its unfamiliarity heightens our discomfort. Many of us only fly once a year (or less) so never get to habituate to the experience. And while there are far more deaths from road accidents, aviation disasters are more likely to receive media attention and stick in our minds.
Another major source of holiday stress and disappointment is the 'expectation–reality' gap. We often invest heavily, financially and emotionally, in our holidays. That investment can come with intense pressure for it to be perfect. We hold idealised beliefs of what holidays “should” look like (perfect weather, blissful relaxation) but reality often falls short with rain, stressful travel delays and arguments with your travel companions. When our carefully imagined fantasy doesn’t materialise, we feel disappointed or even resentful. Social media doesn’t help. Scrolling through curated images of others’ holidays can make ours feel inadequate by comparison. But these images are carefully staged; what you don’t see is the pre-photo argument or the stress of getting there.
Here, Adam shares five psychology-based strategies to ensure a stress-free holiday:
- Plan early
Create a packing checklist and run through your itinerary in advance. This helps reduce uncertainty and cognitive load. If you or someone you're travelling with is neurodivergent, consider pre-booking travel assistance; many airports now offer excellent support services.
- Reframe anxious thoughts
Borrowing a technique from cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), try reframing your internal dialogue. If you feel butterflies before your flight, tell yourself: “This is excitement” rather than “I’m anxious” (the physical sensations are often the same). And when turbulence hits, remind yourself “This is normal. Planes are engineered to handle this”.
- Accept that what you're feeling is normal
Don't be so hard on yourself. If you're travelling somewhere unfamiliar, of course you're anxious. That's totally normal. And remember, nobody’s holiday is perfect, no matter what the photos suggest. You’re seeing someone else’s highlights, not the full picture. It's also ok to feel disappointed if things don't go to plan.
- Ground yourself in gratitude
Rather than comparing your holiday to someone else’s or focusing on what’s gone wrong, return to what is important. What did you hope to get from this break? Rest, connection, adventure? Remind yourself that you're lucky to be spending time with people you care about and reflect on what you are enjoying about the holiday.
- Plan for compatibility (and flexibility)
Before you travel, discuss expectations with your travel companions. What kind of holiday does each person want? Build in shared activities and alone time. You don't have to be together 24 hours a day. It’s okay if you want to relax by the pool while your partner hikes up a mountain; you can reconnect later over an evening meal and do something together that you both enjoy the next day. And resist the urge to do it all. Packing too much into each day can leave you feeling exhausted and anxious. Unstructured time is essential for decompression.
Find out more about studying Psychology at The University of Law.